Work in progress...

I thought about why I hadn't posted anything since January and decided it was because I don't like my blog, so I'm giving it a face-lift - a slow, torturous one, that will probably span several weeks/months/years until I get it the way I want it. I allowed people's opinions to push me into adding pictures, color, etc., even though I stuck to my guns about not having a theme. So, today is close to a blank slate. Maybe tomorrow it will become totally blank and I can begin to make it mine.

Read more...

Dear God, Thank you!

I pray every night and at least a couple of times during the day, and always try to say "thank you" and count my blessings even when things don't seem to be going very well. THIS Thank you, I felt, needed to be shared.

It is a huge stress when someone in your family is diagnosed with cancer, and you can't help but also stress over the money. Your loved one can't work, bills mount up, collection agencies begin to call, its just unbearable at times. I hate to pray for money, because that just seems wrong, so I prayed for an answer, I prayed for guidance and my prayers were answered.

Our Patient Advocate told us that organizations donate money to families with high deductibles and high out-of-pocket medical costs. She applied to several for us and we received the news yesterday that we were approved for financial assistance for this year!

I'm just so beside myself with relief and joy that I wanted to share the news with everyone. Those who follow my blog have been so supportive and it is so appreciated, too.

So, I just wanted to say, Thank you, God, for all you do for us. I am so grateful, that words just cannot describe it.

Read more...

Incentives

I go through long spurts of not being able to accomplish anything. Although my intentions are good, I always manage to talk myself into procrastination. Because of my husband's illness and working longer hours and the dark, grey, depression of winter, I've put off a lot of things that need to be done around here. Things pile up, nothing gets thrown away and I'd clean just enough to not be embarrassed if someone stopped by. I live by the old Erma Bombeck way of thinking, if I clean it up, it'll just get messy again in a week or two, so why bother?! (I love all of her books - she was inspirational when I was growing up, lol).

But then, I go to someone's house that is worse than mine, and I think "how/why would you live this way?!" and I found myself picking things up, throwing things away, and I realized, why don't I just do this at my house? It inspired me like nothing else could. I spent the day throwing things away: junk mail, freebies I had collected from here and there, old straws, matchbooks, and I started finding a lot of things that I had "borrowed" ages ago from people, so I started bagging those items to be returned to their owners (bet they'll be surprised).

I think it was therapeutic in a way. Clutter can bring you down and make you feel like you're buried and when life is a little rough anyway, breaking through the clutter can be liberating and gave me a fresh outlook.

Read more...

Far Behind

I'm so far behind on my "to do" list because I basically have done nothing but watch movies during the holiday off days. It was very relaxing and rejuvenating and totally necessary. I have so much to write about but don't have time enough this morning. So, coming up, I want to share what I thought about the endless number of movies I watched the past 2 weeks, one book review (I felt it was a total scam) and an update on my husband's chemo, etc. I'm starting to think I can keep this blog, but then maybe I should make additional blogs to categorize the things I write about. But then, I start thinking that would be a lot of extra work. What do you think?

Read more...

Quote

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

Jean Kerr

Read more...

New Year's Resolutions

Well, its the day after Christmas, a day of options. Typically, I take this day off of work, as I've also done this year, with the intent of getting a lot of stuff done around the house, namely, finding room for the things I received for Christmas. But then, even though I got up before the sun, I end up on my computer, wasting away and convince myself I need a day to just do nothing. Maybe if I focus on the future and begin to organize my New Year's Resolutions, I won't feel like this day is a total waste. Who came up with New Year's Resolutions, anyway? I personally don't "believe" in them because every year I make them and every year I break them - sometimes within just a day of starting. So, what's the point? Why do I put myself through this?

After much thought and consideration, I realize that the purpose of New Year's Resolutions is to provide hope and excitement for the new year; something to look forward to instead of dwelling on the past.

In light of this, I resolve to:

- care for my husband and be as patient and understanding as possible and spend as much time with him as possible.
- become even more charitable than this year and inspire others to be charitable.
- work hard and try to keep us financially stable.
- be thankful for what we have instead of dwelling on what we have not.
- create some awesome blogs.
- and, of course, lose weight and become more organized.

I love receiving comments. Please feel free to post your resolutions in the comments area.

Read more...

Funny Christmas Pictures

Read more...

Approach

Nearly every day for I don't know how many years, I have driven past a woman on my way to work. She "lives" outside of the library downtown. Every morning she goes through all of her possessions, stuffed into two very large trashbags. Over time the trashbags have become worn and she began patching them with duct tape (I don't know where she got that). Every day I'd think to myself 'I should give her some new trashbags', but then I'd forget by the time I got to work. I felt uneasy about approaching her; I'd never spoken to a homeless person before, and I often wonder 'what happened?' Finally, one of her bags became unrepairable and her belongings were lying on the sidewalk, so I realized that either I remember the bags, or her few possessions were going to end up stolen or thrown away. I grabbed the trashbags I had left, some change (I don't pay for things with cash, so I rarely have any money around the house) and some bananas. I drove towards work and saw her standing there trying to tape up the remaining bag. I pulled up to the sidewalk, took a deep breath and got out of the car. I didn't know what I was going to say. She didn't look up until I spoke. I held out the bag of items and said, "I noticed you needed new bags." She smiled, "Oh gosh, thank you so much!" I nodded and went on my way. It was no big deal and I wished I had stopped before.

This is yet another challenge to myself, and this time also to you: do something you wouldn't normally do, something you keep meaning to do. Tomorrow never comes, there is only today.

Read more...

Brainstorming

I have so much I want to do, but it seems like the more things I think of, the less I get done. It must be a proportional-karma-universe thing; kinda like Murphy's Law.

I bought a calendar that fits in my purse and made a to-do list. I've brainstormed tons of ideas for crafts, blog topics, art pieces, etc, and picked out a blog template that would give me more columns. So, really, that's a pretty good start. However, once you see my calendar (I hope to post a picture tonight...so it will probably be in 2 weeks) you'll understand why I'm just spinning my wheels.

Christmas is fast approaching and I'm going to miss the entire shopping season as far as posting things on Etsy, Amazon and Ebay. I had monumental, albeit futile, plans for making extra money this month. If you'll remember my post from a couple months ago, my goal was to find a way to make an extra $100/day online. I'm nowhere near that, but will probably try to work in advertising in the near future, even though I don't like blogs that are overrun with ads. I'm hoping to be able to do it so it fits in with the (future) look of my blog. After all, the initial purpose of this blog was for me to carry on about anything and everything and to kind of be an anonymous, secret place for me to be myself and to say whatever I wanted without worrying about hurting anyone's feelings, or stepping on any toes as I deal with a very difficult and painful time in my husband's shortened life, as well as "perimenopause", getting older and the day to day trials and tribulations that we all face.

Happy Holidays everyone - I'll be back later :)

Read more...

Fat Jeans

Ugh! The after Thanksgiving blues. Having to return to work after four days of lounging around doing nothing, relaxing, having a good time was made even worse when I had to trade in my pajama pants for jeans, AND, on top of that - I had to get out my FAT jeans! I gained 5 pounds in 4 days! 5 pounds that took me like 2 months to lose in the first place. Oh well, back to it I guess. Starting today, no more pumpkin pie with whipped creme for breakfast and dinner. Starting today I'll have eggbeaters for breakfast, write down everything I eat, drink more water and get on the treadmill, ugh! Wish me luck! BUT - no matter what - I'm having pumpkin pie on Christmas :)

Read more...

Staycation

I have had a wonderful, relaxing "stay-cation" these past few days! I think I needed some time to do nothing, relax, not watch the clock, etc.

Thursday was Thanksgiving and my dear sweet giving mother had it at her house again. She doesn't want any help until I get there then its 'well, I could've used some help hours ago!' So, I had a couple of glasses of wine and enjoyed the rest of the evening.

Friday we had to go to the doctor so my husband could have some blood work done, then we went out for lunch, which was nice. Afterwards, I just putzed around the house and fiddled with some crafts and that night we watched a dvd - I'm too embarrassed to say which one because it was just too stupid.

Saturday, I went to see Julie & Julia with my parents and one of my daughters. It was such a good movie! I'm inspired to blog a lot more from watching it - so watch out. You can look forward to a lot more posts about nothing, lol.

Today - I should get some stuff done but just wanted to let everyone know that no matter what you have going on - take time for yourself. If you're caring for someone, get some help, even if just for a day. You'll feel better and be a better caretaker for having done it.

Read more...

A Thanksgiving Prayer

Lord, so often times, as any other day
When we sit down to our meal and pray

We hurry along and make fast the blessing
Thanks, amen. Now please pass the dressing

We're slaves to the olfactory overload
We must rush our prayer before the food gets cold

But Lord, I'd like to take a few minute more
To really give thanks to what I'm thankful for

For my family, my health, a nice soft bed
My friends, my freedom, a roof over my head

I'm thankful right now to be surrounded by those
Whose lives touch me more than they'll ever possibly know

Thankful Lord, that You've blessed me beyond measure
Thankful that in my heart lives life's greatest treasure

That You, dear Jesus, reside in that place
And I'm ever so grateful for Your unending grace

So please, heavenly Father, bless this food You've provided
And bless each and every person invited

Amen!

by Scott Wesemann

Read more...

Catch up

Wow! I can't believe I've been away from this for over 6 weeks. Great way to build traffic, huh?! So much has been going on its just overwhelming. I'll try to come back and go more in depth later so that people who are going through the same trials and tribulations as us can maybe benefit from our experiences.

My husband had the RFA (radio frequency ablation). It went great! This is truly a miracle of modern medicine! Then, he returned to the hospital a couple of days later to have his port installed. Anyone who is going to be receiving chemotherapy really should see about getting one of these. It is so much better than not having one. Then, a couple of weeks later, he took an ambulance ride to the emergency room. It turns out he had a gallstone. The pain was horrendous. They removed the stone and then 2 days later removed his gallbladder. THEN, a week after that, he came down with pneumonia!

Like I said, things have been crazy. He started chemo last week but still has the pneumonia. We have to wait 4 weeks before they'll do a bronchoscopy to verify the pneumonia. This Wednesday he goes in to have a stint removed that was inserted after the gallstone was removed.

I'll be updated my blog header, background, etc. for a whole new look within the week.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Read more...

The Sneeze

The procedure went smoothly! It is such a massive relief!

We were in the doctor's office a few days ago and my husband sneezed. It was kind of funny because he immediately put his hand to his face, then quickly remembered 'no, you're suppose to sneeze (and cough) into your sleeve, wait, no, now you're suppose to sneeze/cough into the inside of your elbow. I saw his arm go from his hand, wrist, then inside elbow past his nose all in the course of one sneeze. It was so funny - you'd probably have to have been there. I joked, "next they'll tell us to sneeze into our armpits" :)

Read more...

Hospital Trip - What to pack

Today we're going to the hospital. My husband is having a RFA (I forget what that stands for, but I'll post it later) to remove a nodule on his lung. He has stage 4 colon cancer which is stressful and scary in and of itself, but this procedure is adding to the stress because its fairly new. They do this on other organs all the time, but not the lung. I'll let you know how it goes.

Anyway, I started "packing" for our trip hours ago (or at least it feels that way). We've spent a lot of time there so I'm getting good at packing for it. Being at the hospital is mostly a waiting game. Some things you want to take:

book or something to do
reading glasses (if needed)
change for the vending machines
cash for the parking garage - ours takes debit cards now, but they didn't last year
protein snacks
sweater
water (the hospital is very dry)

Wow - that's a lot shorter list than I thought. Why did it take me so long to pack then???

If its your first trip, make sure you ask where the cafeteria is. I didn't eat anything except vending machine food the first time we went and ended up becoming very ill.

Read more...

Thank you for voting!

Thank you for voting! Sasha won the contest and she's so very happy!!!

Read more...

This Week In Review

I had a fairly boring, insignificant week but had a lot I wanted to post about and just didn't get around to it. So, I hope to follow up on those topics later. They were/are all very important topics such as grocery shopping, weather, bad hair days, etc. and I'm sure you'll be sitting on pins and needles until I get them posted, but you'll have to wait.

I hope to get caught up this weekend on everyone's blog suggestions and do a lot more writing.

As far as my "challenge" goes,... so far, I've made $4.32 online this week. Yay! A far cry from the $100/day goal, but still, a step in the right direction. More on this later, too. A lot of the retail stores around here are beginning to hire part-time help for the holidays, so I need to follow through on that, also. Man, I've got A LOT to do! I better get busy, and fast!

I just wanted to leave you with this email that I received, because I know you all deserve to receive it, too (it was titled "Hey Gorgeous):

.... This is for you gorgeous ...

Today is National 'HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE HOT' Day!

Send this to someone gorgeous,

but don't send it back to me,

I've been getting this message all freakin' day!

******************************************************************

P.S. Vote for Sasha.

Read more...

Please Vote for My Friend's Dog

My friend has her puppy in a Pet Photo contest. If you have a minute, please vote for her by going to the contest here: http://petsjubilee-furbabies.blogspot.com/2009/09/contestant-12.html#comments

Leave a comment and a name, like "what a cute puppy. George"

You get the idea. Sasha would really appreciate it.

Thank you!

Read more...

Link Referral

I had so much that I wanted to write about this morning, but I'm running very late. So, the least of what I wanted to say was thank you to all of the great input from my link referral visitors! I value your opinion and will be making the improvements that everyone has suggested to date.

Its bothersome that the "follow" section of blogger isn't working right now, but I hope you'll come back and add me later. I'll follow you in return.

Read more...

Delta Dawn

The chorus to the song:

Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on
Could it be a faded rose from days gone by
And did I hear you say he was a-meeting you here today
To take you to his mansion in the sky

Artist: Tucker Tanya
Song: Delta Dawn
Album: Delta Dawn

Read more...